Make today the day.

During this whole journey of self-love I have gotten messages from strangers, friends, and even family, asking how I became confident. And the truth is, it didn’t just happen. It’s a daily fight and I’ve don’t a lot of self care. Some of you know that I see a therapist and a nutritionist to help keep me on the right track and stay vocal about my emotions. This of course, is not required for one to get where I’ve gotten, but it’s definitely a huge help for me. Just talking about our insecurities is a huge step. My blogging/Instagram is also a huge part in my recovery as well. Helping others has really pushed me to stay positive, because how can I help you if I can’t take my own advice. 
There are days where I feel like a million bucks and am so proud of my progress, and then there are days where I feel like I’ve taken 100 steps back…but no matter how bad the day is, I’m still talking through it, which means I’m moving forward. 
On the days I am feeling like I’ve made no progress and want to revert back to my old ways I’ve learned to do a lot of self care. I also tell myself that this is not a permanent feeling. I often read my own blog, journal, workout, talk to friends and family, and do something relaxing like a bubble bath. 
My therapist said something my last visit that really resonated with me. She said, “we don’t have control of those first thoughts that pop into our head, but we have control of the after thoughts.” When I used to have the thoughts like, “Julia you look so chubby” I would continue those negative thoughts and wallow in those bad feelings. Instead of validating that first thought I now disagree and change my thoughts to positive ones. Of course it’s easier said than done and sometimes seems silly…but if you’re not going to think positive things about yourself how is anyone else going to? You need to be your biggest fan…and that does not make you conceited or cocky. You’re supposed to love yourself and somewhere in our lives something shifted that made you think otherwise. 
Some bully, some boyfriend, the thousands of media messages shoved in our faces, have made us think we are mr good enough and need to change…but let me tell you… You are perfect the way you are. Feed your body, workout, get fresh air, feed your mind, and your body will take care of itself. 
So I want you to challenge yourself… The next time you have a negative thought about yourself…acknowledge it, then disagree with it and turn it to a positive one. 🙂 if your friend said, “I’m fat,” you would never say, “yea oh are,” (unless you suck)…so why do that to yourself? Be a friend…be your biggest fan!!! 
Today is the day you can make the change and decide to love yourself. It’s not going to be easy…but it’s so fucking worth it. (Excuse my language.) 
I love you all and thank you for your endless support. You all help me in my journey of recovery and I can’t thank you enough for joining me!
Have a beautiful day! 
~Xoxo, Jules 
Head over to my Instagram: fitfatandallthat for daily motivation and inspiration 🙂 

   
   

You be you, and I’ll be me.

There’s the “popular” kids, the “nerds,” the “jocks,” and about a million other ways to categorize people. For me, in school, there was always the fear of not fitting in. The fear of not belonging to a group and I wasn’t even sure what group I would’ve belonged to, but I wanted to be popular. I always had friends from multiple groups and always felt I was a little bit of everything. But for the longest time I just wanted to fit in. I would try to be something I wasn’t, just because I didn’t want to stand out. I was afraid of judgement if I wore something different and I tried so hard to be what I thought was “cool.” I wanted to be desired by the hot guys and envied by the pretty girls. I wanted all of this because I was so insecure with just being myself. I was always the funny girl that none of the guys had a crush on because I was one of the guys…and I hated that. I spent so much time thinking about how I wasn’t desirable and it only made me more insecure. I hated the way my body looked and I blamed it for not being what I thought was attractive. And I wasted so much time when I should’ve been enjoying school.

I can’t stress enough how freeing it feels to just let go of trying to be perfect, or desirable, or sexy, or cute. I don’t need validation from a man to feel complete, I don’t need to be part of the cool crowd to feel like I fit in, because to be honest… I don’t want to fit in. I don’t want to be like everyone else. I love people for their differences, that’s what makes people so interesting, we are ALL different. So why do we try so damn hard to fit this mold of what’s attractive? Why do we not say things in fear of judgment, or not wear things we want to wear because it might be different? 

Why can’t we all just accept that being unique is such a gift. I see so many comments on people’s IG’s and in the media about being a slut, being ugly, being fat, and a million other hurtful things. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand the judgement. And I really don’t understand the need to make remarks about it. You be you, and I’ll be me. I know it all stems from insecurity and it hurts to see that. I used to make remarks about other people and make fun, and it was all because I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I wasn’t ok with myself so I felt the need to judge others. And that’s not ok and I hated the way it made me feel. So I decided to stop. I decided to stop worrying about what others thought of me and in turn I stopped judging others for their choices. 

So moral of the story is….

It’s your life. Don’t ever feel the need to be something that your not. People are going to like you, hate you, envy you…and that’s the beauty in life. We aren’t all going to get along, but be kind and stop all the judgement. 

This is your time to truly find out who you are and embrace it. 

   

         

Have an amazing weekend, beautiful people! 

~xoxo, Jules 

This is my fight song.

I know I’ve said this before…I used to think that I was going to spend my life hating my body, never feeling comfortable in my own skin. And what a horrible feeling! No one should ever feel gross in their own bodies. I was so used to body shaming, negative self talk, and really unhealthy habits…all because I hated what I saw. I wasn’t what I saw in magazines and I felt inadequate. 

But guess what?!?!?! You don’t have to feel that way. You can reclaim your life. You can reclaim your happiness. You can feel the way you once felt, before you became insecure. It is possible…as hard as it may seem. 

I was so used to hating myself that I didn’t even realize it was possible to feel happy with my body. But I worked really hard to get to where I am today. I do a lot of self work and make it a daily priority. I began to disagree with those negative thoughts. I would have to tell myself to stop, and change those thoughts to positive ones. Tell myself I am worthy. I am healthy. I am beautiful. I am strong. I did this because I deserve to feel happy… And so do you. 

I recently went to see a nutritionist, and it really opened my eyes. She asked me what my goal weight was, and why. I responded, and said I could probably lose a little weight to be healthier. And she goes…” Healthier? Do you have health issues? You workout, eat healthy, you have no health issues…why do you think you need to lose weight to be healthy? You’re not obese or overweight.” 

And it’s true. I’m not unhealthy. If I feed my body right and workout and push myself, my body will find its happy weight. And that’s where I am. Yes, there is fat on my body, does that make me fat or unhealthy? No. We all need to stop thinking that you’ll be happy at a certain weight… I use the excuse that I’ll be “healthy” at this weight… But I really meant happy, and why? I can be happy at this weight AND healthy! Weird right?! 

I just want you to know that you can change the way you think about yourself, the way you look at yourself, and the way you feel about yourself. You have to fight for your happiness. You have to argue those negative thoughts…otherwise you’re going to dig yourself deeper into this self hatred. 

Reclaim your life. Fight for your happiness. It’s worth it, I promise you. 

   

     

~xoxo, Jules 

Here’s my story, what’s yours?

Enjoy, you beautiful people! 

https://youtu.be/Q5wtYasOBUE

Angry No More.

We have all encountered situations in our lives where we have been hurt or wronged. Relationships don’t work, friends screw you over, pathways we thought would work no longer do…things just don’t work out the way we wanted or planned. 

I used to spend my life holding onto this anger and hurt. I would hold grudges towards people simply because they wronged me. I would let it affect my daily life and my mood. My eating would be off, I would be grumpy, and overall, I was just filled with anger. 

Then I realized something. We are all different. We all think differently and act differently. Choices you would make, someone might choose the opposite direction…does that make them a terrible person? No. Is it ok to feel hurt and anger? Yes, of course. Is it ok to carry that through your life? No. 

We meet certain people and they teach us things. Every person, good experiences or not, teach us something. We make the decision who we keep in our lives and we also have the power to decide how we will feel about certain situations. 

We can choose to hold onto anger and then what? We become bitter. The other person you’re angry at has moved on, let things go, and started a new chapter. The anger you hold onto is not punishing them, only yourself. 

Forgiveness is a choice we make. Not for the benefit of the other person. It’s not so they can skip away merely into the sunset. It’s for ourselves. So we don’t have to carry around hurt, anger, and bitterness. They weigh us down, blur our vision. Make our journey slower and painful. Forgiveness allows us to drop all of these things. To no loner carry them with us. To continue our journey, lighter and more at peace. 

So, for a healthier and happier you, choose forgiveness and happiness. 

Decide what type of energy you let into your life and what kind of you give off. You have that choice. Energy is contagious and you can choose to give off and receive negative energy or you can choose positive. 

Seems like an easy choice to me…

And today, tomorrow, and the next day…I choose positive energy, and I hope you do too. 

Happy Monday and start your day off with a smile, because you never know who needs it. 

   

       

~xoxo, Jules 

You Do You, Boo Boo.

Do you ever not do something or not say something in fear of embarrassment? Do you not voice your opinion because you’re afraid of what someone else might think or say? We all do it. We all hold back to some extent. Maybe it’s because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings so we tiptoe around what you say, maybe it’s because you want to come off in a certain way like desperate or needy, or maybe it’s because you’re afraid of rejection.

There are so many reasons why we hold back things we say and things we do. We overthink situations and read into every detail of things people say. Our minds start to wander and eventually you’ve decided on how the other person feels and you’ve created this false idea of the situation. 

I’ve done it a million times. When I was my most self conscious and insecure, this would happen to me on a daily basis. I would think people were mad at me for no reason, I would read into every text and think someone wasn’t interested, and I would avoid saying things in fear of their reaction. 

Of course I still hold back on certain things I say in fear of hurting someone’s feelings but I still say how I feel. I don’t completely bitch someone out because I really want to. I have restraint, but there’s a difference between having no filter and saying how you feel. I have become a person that is not afraid of rejection or the word “no” and just realize it’s a part of life. 

I always ask myself, what’s the worst thing that will happen? You upset the person. You get rejected. They say no…there are many ways a situation can go and if you don’t voice your feelings or your opinions then you aren’t being true to yourself and you’ll never know how a situation would’ve turned out. 

I always like to give my girlfriends this scenario…

Say there is a guy you just met and like. You guys had awesome conversation and you exchanged numbers. You haven’t heard from him and you want to contact him and get a drink. Your fear is that you might come off desperate and needy. You think the guy should contact you and you should wait an X amount of time if he does before returning a text to seem less interested. The idea is to come off like you’re not interested so then he wants to chase you. 

Well here is my take on it….you like this guy, and he clearly liked you. If you want to ask him for a drink and text him good morning or something… WHY CAN’T YOU? If some guy is going to think you are desperate simply because of that, then I highly doubt you’ll get along and he won’t like you in the long run. Say what you want, say how you feel, and be confident in that. The worst thing that will happen is a simple no or be ignored. 

So there is it…that’s my rant for today. Stop living in fear of what others might think or say. Be you. People already love you for who you are, and if someone doesn’t like that… Then ok. Move on. Be done with it. But don’t try to act a certain way or be someone you’re not to come off attractive or desirable. The most attractive thing you can do is stay true to yourself. Be confident in your opinions and feelings. 

YOU DO YOU, BOO BOO! 

Happy Friday, enjoy the weekend, say what you feel and don’t be scared. 

When you stop living in fear of others opinions, you will begin to see a whole new world. Stop trying to meet certain expectations and just be yourself. 

   

   

Xoxo, Jules 

Picture Perfect

Do you ever take a picture, look at it, and then immediately delete it? 

Yep. I have, a million times. I’ll look at it and instantly dislike it and find a million things I don’t like about it. I’ll pick myself apart….my arm looks fat, I have a double chin, you can see cellulite, my stomach looks gross, my face looks fat… I could go on and on and rip a picture apart. 

I still do it. It’s something I’ve done my whole life, and just like the bad habit of biting your nails, it’s a hard habit to break. When you get used to criticizing every picture you see it’s hard to break. 

I think I started doing it because if I picked myself apart first, then no one else could do it. I was afraid of someone seeing what I saw, that I would say it first, and it became such a pattern that I would very rarely find a picture I liked. 

I’ve started to not care as much when I take pictures. Just like in life, things aren’t perfect. Your angel might be be good, you might have just eaten and be a little bloated, you might be really laughing and have a double chin… WHO CARES?! Does anyone else? No. If they think you look bad, fat, ugly, who cares. You are more than just a perfectly posed picture. 

Who cares if you have that little back crease, or a little muffin top, or cellulite…we are human right?! We have flaws…no one expects you to be perfect, and if they do…screw them. They are a waste of time. 

So…I just thought I’d post about how everyone picks apart their pictures and no one takes a perfect picture. You don’t see yourself like others do. 

So below are some pictures that…well… I don’t love but heck…I’m going to post them anyways! 



 

  

 

Instead of critiquing every picture you take, pick out the things you do like. Don’t delete them, they are memories. Remember that you’re beautiful, strong, and more than just a perfect body. Be confident in that. 

~xoxo, Jules 

You are more than a body.

Happy Wednesday all my beautiful people! 

I hope these last weeks have been treating you well. I’ve been incredibly busy with life, like most, and haven’t really had the time to blog and I didn’t just want to write some crap until something came to me…

So, this past weekend I went to the beach. It was my friends birthday and a big group of us all went to the beach…sounds fun right?!

Well it definitely was, but until I got there I had the same anxiety like last time being in a swimsuit. I didn’t want to be in a swimsuit and I was feeling really down about myself. 

I kept looking back at pictures of myself when I was at my peak of fitness and doing Crossfit and comparing it to how I look now… Let’s just say that was a stupid idea. I always tell people “don’t compare yourself to others, you’re not them and they’re not you,” but you know what I need to stop doing…comparing myself to myself. 

Yes my body is capable of being in better shape and I could really buckle down and get there but I’m also at a different place in my life. I shouldn’t beat myself up that I gained a little bit of weight since last year. I was constantly working out and even though work was more stressful, I had more hours to spend working out and money. I was happy with my body but overall I was not in a good place with my life. I am very healthy now, I hike, I workout, I eat pretty well for the most part, but I do indulge more than before. I have a social life and I’m enjoying my life, I’m truly happy. 

As I sat on the floor of my room last Friday with swimsuits surrounding me, trying to think of what would look best on my body I had such an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. The swimsuits I wanted to wear that I wore last year no longer look the same on and I was ashamed. I was mad I let myself gain weight and I was choking back tears. I was also mad that I even let myself get this anxious about simply being in a swimsuit. 

I texted my mom and she said, “what would you tell your readers on your blog, tell yourself that.” 

And that’s what I did. I would tell you that your friends are friends with you for your personality, not how you look in a swimsuit. I would tell you that all body shapes are beautiful and it’s ok to have some jiggle. It’s ok to be skinny. It’s ok to be curvy. It’s ok to simply have a body that is not picture perfect, because it’s yours and you should be proud regardless of it not fitting into societies standards ! Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t compare yourself to your past self. If looking at past pictures of yourself as motivation works for you, awesome! But for me it doesn’t, it only makes me feel ashamed that I’m no longer there, and why should I be ashamed? 

I quit my job, left people I loved, and moved across the Country. I completely changed my life around and I should NOT be ashamed and remember I am more than a body and I can be proud of myself in other ways, not just for losing a couple of pounds. 

The next time I am going to be in a swimsuit I am going to remember you, and what I would tell you. I need to take my own advice and not revert back to my negative self talk ways and neither should you. 

Your self worth is not measured in pounds. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are you, and that’s something you should celebrate. 

Happy Hump Day and give yourself a hug today, you deserve it. And OMG here’s some pictures of my enjoying the day and not caring about being in a swimsuit! Enjoy! 







 

~xoxo, Jules 

Swimsuits are NOT your worst enemy.

Again, I’ve been MIA…cause well, life happens. Sometimes it’s ok to simply just enjoy life, but don’t worry, I didn’t forget about my followers.

So over the past few weeks a lot has happened and I’ve realized many things. As much as I sit here and preach about self love sometimes it’s hard to take my own advice. It’s easy to give it, when you’re not the one feeling the emotions, but when you’re in it, it’s so hard to take a step back and realize some things.

One thing that was hard for me in the last 2 weeks was swimsuits. It’s been getting a lot warmer here in Cali, and that means beach or pool days…and that’s also means the dreaded bikini season.

Everybody always says…I’m not bikini ready, I got to lose some weight before I even put this on… Bla bla bla… I do it too! But guess what…inure never going to be “ready” if you can’t accept your body and all its flaws. You will always find something wrong with it and always find something to be insecure about.

This past weekend I went to a pool party AND the beach…and I had anxiety through the roof! I tried on a million of my swimsuits and wanted to wear one of my full suits…it covered my tummy and that’s all I could stare at in my bikini. BUT I also had this awful thought that people were going to think…”oh fat girls in the full suit” and yea I know… CRAZY. But hey, we all have those thoughts sometimes. We all think someone is going to be thinking something, but guess what?!?! EVERYONE IS EITHER INSECURE THINKING ABOUT WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE OR NOT GIVING TWO SHITS AND ENJOYING THEMSELVES. So in reality… No one is judging you, and if they are, it’s probably because they are insecure themselves. No one who is a true friend is friends with you because of how you look, so why would they judge you for having a tummy and wearing a bikini?!

So guess what I did?! I wore a motherfreakin bikini! And at the beach I did too… And I even played frisbee. Which is HUGE. I usually would just lay there hoping to not have a big gust of wind jiggle my tummy, but I said screw it and got up and played frisbee and I definitely jiggled… And guess what?! I had a great time.

So stop worrying about what everyone is thinking and STOP worrying about what you’re thinking, cause you’re wrong. You are amazing, you are beautiful, and you are more than your body.

I love you all and TGIF!!!

~xoxo, jules

Love yourself NOW, not later.

I hope you enjoy my awkward video blog everyone! ✌️ Missed you all!

http://youtu.be/6nk-pJikv1k

~xoxo, Jules