There’s the “popular” kids, the “nerds,” the “jocks,” and about a million other ways to categorize people. For me, in school, there was always the fear of not fitting in. The fear of not belonging to a group and I wasn’t even sure what group I would’ve belonged to, but I wanted to be popular. I always had friends from multiple groups and always felt I was a little bit of everything. But for the longest time I just wanted to fit in. I would try to be something I wasn’t, just because I didn’t want to stand out. I was afraid of judgement if I wore something different and I tried so hard to be what I thought was “cool.” I wanted to be desired by the hot guys and envied by the pretty girls. I wanted all of this because I was so insecure with just being myself. I was always the funny girl that none of the guys had a crush on because I was one of the guys…and I hated that. I spent so much time thinking about how I wasn’t desirable and it only made me more insecure. I hated the way my body looked and I blamed it for not being what I thought was attractive. And I wasted so much time when I should’ve been enjoying school.
I can’t stress enough how freeing it feels to just let go of trying to be perfect, or desirable, or sexy, or cute. I don’t need validation from a man to feel complete, I don’t need to be part of the cool crowd to feel like I fit in, because to be honest… I don’t want to fit in. I don’t want to be like everyone else. I love people for their differences, that’s what makes people so interesting, we are ALL different. So why do we try so damn hard to fit this mold of what’s attractive? Why do we not say things in fear of judgment, or not wear things we want to wear because it might be different?
Why can’t we all just accept that being unique is such a gift. I see so many comments on people’s IG’s and in the media about being a slut, being ugly, being fat, and a million other hurtful things. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand the judgement. And I really don’t understand the need to make remarks about it. You be you, and I’ll be me. I know it all stems from insecurity and it hurts to see that. I used to make remarks about other people and make fun, and it was all because I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I wasn’t ok with myself so I felt the need to judge others. And that’s not ok and I hated the way it made me feel. So I decided to stop. I decided to stop worrying about what others thought of me and in turn I stopped judging others for their choices.
So moral of the story is….
It’s your life. Don’t ever feel the need to be something that your not. People are going to like you, hate you, envy you…and that’s the beauty in life. We aren’t all going to get along, but be kind and stop all the judgement.
This is your time to truly find out who you are and embrace it.
Have an amazing weekend, beautiful people!
~xoxo, Jules
Fit, Fat, & All That 