Happy Wednesday all my beautiful people!
I hope these last weeks have been treating you well. I’ve been incredibly busy with life, like most, and haven’t really had the time to blog and I didn’t just want to write some crap until something came to me…
So, this past weekend I went to the beach. It was my friends birthday and a big group of us all went to the beach…sounds fun right?!
Well it definitely was, but until I got there I had the same anxiety like last time being in a swimsuit. I didn’t want to be in a swimsuit and I was feeling really down about myself.
I kept looking back at pictures of myself when I was at my peak of fitness and doing Crossfit and comparing it to how I look now… Let’s just say that was a stupid idea. I always tell people “don’t compare yourself to others, you’re not them and they’re not you,” but you know what I need to stop doing…comparing myself to myself.
Yes my body is capable of being in better shape and I could really buckle down and get there but I’m also at a different place in my life. I shouldn’t beat myself up that I gained a little bit of weight since last year. I was constantly working out and even though work was more stressful, I had more hours to spend working out and money. I was happy with my body but overall I was not in a good place with my life. I am very healthy now, I hike, I workout, I eat pretty well for the most part, but I do indulge more than before. I have a social life and I’m enjoying my life, I’m truly happy.
As I sat on the floor of my room last Friday with swimsuits surrounding me, trying to think of what would look best on my body I had such an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. The swimsuits I wanted to wear that I wore last year no longer look the same on and I was ashamed. I was mad I let myself gain weight and I was choking back tears. I was also mad that I even let myself get this anxious about simply being in a swimsuit.
I texted my mom and she said, “what would you tell your readers on your blog, tell yourself that.”
And that’s what I did. I would tell you that your friends are friends with you for your personality, not how you look in a swimsuit. I would tell you that all body shapes are beautiful and it’s ok to have some jiggle. It’s ok to be skinny. It’s ok to be curvy. It’s ok to simply have a body that is not picture perfect, because it’s yours and you should be proud regardless of it not fitting into societies standards ! Don’t compare yourself to others and don’t compare yourself to your past self. If looking at past pictures of yourself as motivation works for you, awesome! But for me it doesn’t, it only makes me feel ashamed that I’m no longer there, and why should I be ashamed?
I quit my job, left people I loved, and moved across the Country. I completely changed my life around and I should NOT be ashamed and remember I am more than a body and I can be proud of myself in other ways, not just for losing a couple of pounds.
The next time I am going to be in a swimsuit I am going to remember you, and what I would tell you. I need to take my own advice and not revert back to my negative self talk ways and neither should you.
Your self worth is not measured in pounds. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are you, and that’s something you should celebrate.
Happy Hump Day and give yourself a hug today, you deserve it. And OMG here’s some pictures of my enjoying the day and not caring about being in a swimsuit! Enjoy!
~xoxo, Jules