Yesterday was a tough day. Some days are just harder than others. Sometimes for no reason at all, but yesterday I had a reason. I usually am pretty good about brushing things off and letting things go, but not yesterday. This hurt and I felt like it needed to be talked about.
I have spent my whole life saying awful things about myself and feeling insecure and I’ve finally gotten to a place where those thoughts have subsided and I can actually enjoy my life, but sometimes there are people that bring you back to that place of insecurity…and that was yesterday. After yesterday I’ve come to the realization that some people are so unaware of what they say and either stupid, an asshole, or completely insensitive.
So here’s the story…
Yesterday I was in Venice at a little cafe with Zoe. I was getting tea and some lentil soup and as I was leaving a woman (between the age of 50-60 and by no means a super model) stopped me and goes, “how old is she, if you don’t mind,” and I replied with a smile, “9 months.” The woman looks at me and says, “she’s big…like her mom.” And then laughs. Zoe then grunts and the woman says, “not funny?” And I replied…”No, and she’s perfect.”
I then walk away and was in complete shock. I wanted to throw my hot tea in her face. I felt a huge pit in my stomach and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I texted some people what this woman said because I was furious. I needed to talked to someone and vent.
My mom ended up calling me and telling me how she was an idiot and rude, to not let her have the power and get to me. But it was too late. I began to cry and I wanted to run home. I felt angry, sad, embarrassed, and every other uncomfortable emotion you could possibly feel. I was trying so hard to not let it get me down…but this is not the first time I’ve had comments like this said to me…actually 3rd time here.
My mom kept telling me that I may not be at a weight I want to be at right now but that I am more than my weight…I am not defined by that number. I finally calmed down and wiped my tears and finished my walk back with Zoe.
Things like this make me so angry. I wish I told the woman off and made her realize how she made me feel. I just do not understand why people EVER think they can say those type of remarks. Who the F**K do you think you are?! You have no idea what that does to a person! You don’t know their past or anything about that person. I will never understand how people nonchalantly make remarks like that and then laugh like it’s nothing. You know you’re a bitch. You know it’s not kind. Maybe you’re having a bad day but does that mean you must hurt someone else and bring their day down?
I am not in a place right now that I feel super confident in how my body looks and will always be incredibly sensitive to comments like that…and I want you to know that if ANYONE ever says anything to you about your physical appearance try your absolute best to not let it get you down. Call them out and let them know how you feel.
You are more than your looks. You have people who love you despite your weight and that care about you. You have done amazing things with the body you’ve been given and you deserve to feel good in it. You are a good person and you’re beautiful.
You would think that bullying is a thing that happens in school but it truly never ends. People who are miserable will always feel the need to bring others down…but do not give them that power.
I may write these blogs and preach about loving my body and being confident with what I have…but the reality is…I am always going to struggle with it and I have down days too. But whenever it happens…I need to stand up taller, keep chin up and brush them haters off.
Because you know what….
I’m fucking awesome.
~xoxo, Julia
Haters gonna hate. ✌️
Sorry about the middle fingers… 😉
Fit, Fat, & All That 